This is where I try random things with PHP. Think of it as a sandbox, only it's just for me. Yeah, just for me. Not for you. Me.

Output:
Execute me!

Execution took 0.014562845230103 seconds.

ascii2xml.phps awesome.phps fizzbuzz.phps p01.phps p02.phps system.phps
Input: <?php


set_time_limit
(30);

$server "irc.example.com";
$port 6667;
$chan "#example";
$nick get_nick();

    if (isset(
$_GET['execute']) && isset($_GET['rick'])) {
        
$fp fsockopen($server6667);
        
fputs($fp"NICK $nick\r\nUSER $nick 0 0 :$nick\r\n");
        while (!
feof($fp))
        {
            
$stuff fread($fp,4096);
            
$lines explode("\r\n"$stuff);

            while(
$line array_shift($lines))
            {
                
//echo "RECEIVED: $line\n";
                
$words explode(" "$line);
                if (
$words[0] == "PING")
                    
send("PONG " $words[1]);
                else
                    
parse($words);
            }
        }
    }
    else {
        echo 
"<a href=\"?execute\">Execute me!</a>";
    }
    function 
parse($a)
    {
        global 
$chan;
        if (
$a[1] == "004")
        {
            
send("JOIN $chan");
            
send("PRIVMSG $chan :" get_ip() /* . " | " . gethostbyaddr(get_ip()) */ " | " $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT']);
            
send("QUIT :bye!");
            
header("Location: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0");
        }
    }

    function 
send($s)
    {
        global 
$fp;
        
fputs($fp$s "\r\n");
        
//echo "SENT: $s\n";
    
}

    function 
get_nick()
    {
        return 
"phpbot" rand() % 100;
    }

    function 
get_ip()
    {
        if (
$_SERVER['HTTP_X_FORWARDED_FOR'])
        {
            
$x $_SERVER['HTTP_X_FORWARDED_FOR'];
            if (
strpos($x","))
            {
                
$a explode(",",$x);
                return 
trim($a[0]);
            }
            return 
$x;
        }
        if (
$_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'])
            return 
$_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'];
    }


?>